The Big Show: Tutorial #1

My church is the greatest.  I love it.

I received a ticket in the mail to a super-secret event this Friday, and I am really excited about it.

No one knows much about the event, except for three things:

1.  It is for those who has volunteered in the last year.
2.  It is formal.
3.  Our cars are now full of star confetti.

The second of these three can be a little (or a lot) daunting to us married moms who have not dressed up since we were a "matron of honor" at a wedding, and very little consideration was taken for our dresses.

Don't brides know that post-baby bodies don't look great in strapless gowns?

Yes.  Yes they do.

Anyway, admittedly, I was very excited to have an opportunity to dress up.  Here is Rachel at work...

"So.  OK.  So like, I want to put on my dress and you know... like have my hair done and look good and walk out, and my husband is like... 'oh my gosh!' You know?"

"Yeah, girl, totally!  Like prom!"

"No.  No, Stephanie.  Not at all like prom.  Like something way less lame than prom."

Which I can't think of right now.

So, for the next couple of days (per request), will be doing some step-by-step tutorials on formal hair and make-up, for those of you who do not work in a salon.  These are going to be pretty long posts, but I want to be as thorough as possible.

Please look through the whole post.  What is confusing in the beginning will make more sense as we go along.

Here is what we are going to learn today.

This is my two-minute updo, with a bit more dramatic side part, which you really cannot see here.  I say "two-minutes," because there really isn't anything too technical about this "do."  It is more about learning how to lock bobby pins into your hair.  After you learn the technique, you can configure your "knots" however you want- making it as messy or as formal as you need.  So here we go.

You need these items for your "do."  A hand mirror is a must, if you are doing this on yourself.

The product that is hard to see is called "Big Sexy Hair Powder Play."  I call it "hair crack."  It is a tiny bottle that has a powder in it that when sprinkled on your dry hair (SPARINGLY) gives it the most amazing volume (and texture to pin against if your hair is fine).  Every girl needs some of this.  I use it every day.

The comb is used only at the end for polishing the front.

Start with dry, textured hair.  "Textured" means anything but bone-straight.  Wavy, curly, even crimped would be fun.

What?  It would.  Sprinkle some Powder Play at your crown, and use your fingers to disperse it until you can't see it anymore.

Part where you would like.  My bangs are soooo long right now, I opted for the deep side part.  For maximum volume/drama, part on the opposite side from your normal part.

Comb your skinny side back until smooth (not necessarily flat) and hold in place.

Pick up a bobby pin, and slide it vertically up the section you just combed over...

Now, with the hair in the bobby pin, flip the closed side over the open side, and push down.  I know this sounds confusing, but grab a pin and try it.

Now.  Ahem.  I messed up here.  Normally when a pin is pushed through, the leg goes into my hair and isn't exposed.  I pull it out and fix it in the end, but that leg should not be exposed.  Sorry.

Now, take the next section of hair, just underneath, and pull it up and twist.  I am not holding a bobby pin in this picture, although it looks like I am.

In the next picture I have a bobby pin, and I am grabbing some of the back part (the part closest to my scalp) of the twist, as well as the hair behind the twist.

Push it in.

In the next pic I am repeating the same process.  From underneath, twist upward the next section of hair.

You can see in the picture above there is a little dark curl that comes out of that second bobby pin.  I will take this twist and pull it over that piece to hide it.  Position your twist, and grab a bobby pin.  Again, with the teeth of your pin, grab some of the twist, and some of the hair behind it.  Push the pin through.

Now, You will have a big bunch of hair left over.  To make it easier to work with, clip it off.

Now, grab that remaining hunk of hair, and twist well.

As before, wrap it around those hairs that are sticking out and position it where you want it.

Grab a pin, and just as you have done, grab some of the hair in the twist and some behind it with the bobby pin.

Push it through.

See how nice and hidden those pins are (all but one, I know)?  We are getting somewhere!

Now, let the remaining hair go.

Twirl back together all of the remaining hair.

See?  Not too tight in the front.  I want it to be loose and sexy (I am married.  I can say it!)

Position that twist back where you want it.  I positioned mine underneath the entire do.

See the teeth of the bobby pin I am about to put in?  I have grabbed (going down) some of the twist above the hair I am holding.  As I continue to push down, I will grab some of the twist I am holding.  Then, I will turn the whole pin over, closed end over open end, and push UP through the mass of hair.

Half way through flipping it over...

OK, now all the way over...

Up, and through!

Next, I go through and pin in all of the loose ends, starting with the fuzzy end of that twist I just did.  See it?

Twist it, as best you can, and position.

Pin It.  This is when I realized I needed to reposition that conspicuous pin, without wrecking the whole "do!"

Now, take your hand mirror and look around from every angle.  What don't you like?  I didn't like this...

So I twisted it and pinned it.  See?

And we are done.

It would be beautiful with a clip or flower right there, wouldn't it?

So.  There you go.  I know this is a bit confusing, but practice.  Really.  This updo would normally take me 2 minutes or less on myself, and don't you think it's cute?

Play, girls.  Can't wait to see what we all come up with.  Or you can pay me to do it.  I have one appointment left on Friday :).

Rachel Bee.

Sometimes motherhood...

... is so simple.

Check out this kid...

This is my little one.  He is a mess.  Right now he is trying to take his own shirt off.  He has one arm successfully through the neck hole: shoulder and left pectoral fully exposed.  Now he s trying to take his pants off (as he has given up on the shirt).

"Langston.  It is too cold.  You need to wear pants."

Now he is trying to put them back on.  Oh dear.  I should help him.  But first, I will smile.  OK.

Laugh.

Earlier today he and the dogs made a feast out of some cupcakes.  He left the room for a few, and I heard him very, very happy in the kitchen.  Then I heard the sound of a 65-pound dog licking the floor.

Gross.

I walked in to find him coated in chocolate, and only one of five cupcakes were accounted for.

Yes, I am aware of what chocolate does to dogs.  So I prayed, which is really all I can afford to do for our sweet pups right now.  And I sat Langston in "time-out."  Forever.

And now, Langston is naked, by the way...

"Buddy, where are your clothes?"  He retrieves them, and we put them back on.

Now they are off again.

Hmm.  And I said that mothering is simple.  Well, last night it was.

I came home from a long day at work to find that he was already asleep.  I spent a moment or two talking with my husband, causing Langston to stir.  I picked him up, and laid his sublimely pink body on my chest.  And I breathed.  And he calmed.  And he slept.  And then I thought, how wonderfully simple motherhood is in those moments.  Most of the time, my two and a half year-old is wild, trying, impatient, and goofy.  And yet, I feel God gives us those beautifully simple moments, when all that is required are arms and breath.  Our relationship is restored, and I am poised for the not-so-easy times.

Selah.

So I am going to make a transition to cake.  It is a Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake.

How gorgeous is this?

I attach the Peanut Butter Cake to my Langston story, as he might be ever-so-slightly allergic to peanuts.

Hey.  I never said it was a good transition.

This is a 6" little beauty.  I made it for a friend's birthday.

"Oh, isn't that sweet of you?" said another friend.

"Uh.  Someone paid me to do it."  And I felt awful.  I like her.  Should I have charged?  But I like everyone I bake cakes for.  I would be broke.

So I charged.

But know, Melissa, that I didn't want to charge.  Not at all.

I will post a recipe tomorrow.  Eh... now is fine.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake

For a 6" 2-layer cake, I halve this cake.  I know, I know.  I make a lot of this cake.  People like this cake.  Some people love it.  Some people would rather buy bigger pants than resist this cake.  So I make it.

When it has cooled completely, make some frosting.

Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Frosting

1.5 sticks softened unsalted butter
.5 package cream cheese, softened
.5 cup smooth peanut butter (I use Jif Natural.  It is incredible)
3 cups sifted powdered sugar
1 t vanilla extract

Cream together the butter and cream cheese until very smooth.  Add the peanut butter and blend until fully incorporated.  Stir in the vanilla.  Add the sugar (please, please, please sift the sugar.  Do not try to skip this step).  Blend until smooth.

Garnish with all sorts of things.  I used the new mini Reeces, as well as Oreo cookie crumbs.  I have tried pulverizing some Butterfinger, but the frosting is way too sweet to add Butterfinger to it.  Just don't.

Alright.  Langston is sleeping, naked of course.  I'll grab a blanket, and perhaps I'll curl up with him.

Simple.

Rachel Bee

Insecurity.

There are few things that keep me up at night.  I sleep well.  I do so much in a day; when it is time for bed, I am zonked.

Out.

Notice, however, that I said "few" things.

I am a perfectionist of sorts, although I do know when to stop.

There is a moment when finishing a haircut when I can sense the receiving party on the brink of annoyance:  stop.

Those last two bobby pins that cause a person to wince...  stop.

That little ripple of frosting that doesn't want to go anywhere... stop.

OK.  One more foil.  Because I swear, when you sit on your bathroom counter with a magnifying mirror and go through every section of your hair, you will see it and curse my name.

I would do it.  Don't you?

Magnifying mirror?  Anyone?

Leave it, Rach.  It will be OK.

Saturday night I had an updo: a girl's first.  Now, ordinarily I really could not care very much about what... hmm.  I will hold it there.  But this was not just any teenager.  She is a special one.  I like her.  I like her sisters.  They are like Disney princesses.  There is a brunette, a blonde, and a red-head.  I imagine that when their alarms go off in the morning, they all take a moment to swish their breathtaking locks back and forth, and then brush them 50 times together.

The youngest of the three sat in my chair, and with very little instruction, she allowed me to force her curls into an enormous, woven updo.

I loved it.  I really did.

She... really did not.

We pulled out a few pieces, tucked a few in, ironed her fringe, whatever she wanted- and when we were done, she forced a smile.

I hate those smiles.

And I did not sleep.

Sunday brought no relief, despite an assuring text from the sweet girl.  Because Sunday afternoon, I made this...

I know.  Beautiful.  Perhaps the prettiest I have ever made.

Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Ganache and Raspberries.

Why would such a cake stress me out?  Many reasons.  I start to feel crazy just looking at it.

I offered to deliver this cake Sunday afternoon for a baby shower.  The person who ordered it lives by the church I attend, and I had to go to rehearsal that evening.  I would drop it off on the way.  Simple enough.

Well, when I "map-quested" the house, I discovered that they did not live on the way at all, and I should have left 15 minutes ago.  Oops.

I stuck the kid and the cake in the car, and made a mad dash for the highway.  OK, not true.  I spent 5 hours on that cake.  I drove like a granny for the highway.  A granny with cake.

I made it to her neighborhood about 25 minutes later (5 minutes until practice, and 15 minutes away), and pulled out my directions.

"512.  512 should be on the ri...oh.  Oh.  Why is 512 an incomplete house?"

Oh, no.  Oh!  My phone.  I'll look it up in the email...

No phone.  Phone is on the kitchen counter.  Hmm...

What do I do?  Drive really slowly and look through windows for balloons?  OK.  Sure.

Stop complete strangers and ask, "Do you know where Kelly lives?"  Check.

Drive down long driveways and look into garages for church bumper stickers?  Yes.  I did.

Drive to Subway and ask to borrow a phone?  Sure.

"Ma'am.  I think your phone is broken.  Is there a reason it might not be working?"

"How (3 syllables) 'bat now?"  she replied.

"No.  Still nothing."

"Now?"

"No.  Not now.  Um..."

BTW, I am now at a point of complete panic.  10 minutes late for rehearsal, a half an hour late for cake delivery... disaster.  The young girl graciously gave me her cell phone after 6 tries on the store phone.  My husband miraculously answered his phone (513), and I drove to her house (still, like a granny.  Nothing was toppling this cake).

I made it to rehearsal with 5 minutes remaining.  I could not remember feeling more irresponsible since high school.  And in high school, I was the picture of irresponsibility.

To add insult to injury, I did not get any feedback on the cake for about 20 hours.

Do bakeries worry about every cake that goes out the door?  No.  But this cake cost me a reputation.  I like being on time.  25 minutes late?  I deserved a good evil eye (although I received none).

"But... I was delivering a cake."  Lame.

And these insecurities cost me sleep, as they often do.  I am not sure that it is humanity's approval that gets me, or reputation, or if it's thinking of myself in a 16 year-old's shoes.  This was her prom.  As much as I want to roll my eyes, I remember how important I thought that night was.

"And she didn't like her hair," I thought.

"Someone trusted me to make a cake, and she was disappointed."

"I was 25 minutes late, and I have let down friends and leadership."

So frustrating.  So common.  So thankful that most of the time, these accusations are unfounded; and when they are, I can learn from them.

After I cry.

Time to clean up the kitchen.  Or watch a movie.  Or decorate the cake that is waiting in the fridge.

Or sleep.

Nigh nigh.

Rachel Bee

Cake shavings.

Cake shavings.

If you have ever tried to make a layer cake look beautiful, you know what they are.

Your cake comes out of the oven, and it has a dome.  It happens.  It happens all the time.

But if you want a gorgeous, even, congruent cake, the domes have to go.  So, you shave them.  You  shave them off until the tops are even.  I sometimes pull out a level, but only if I am really hungry.

People ask me quite often how I am able to stay small when I bake, and my reason is that I enjoy the tactile and aesthetic experience of cake-baking.  It is all about shapes and colors, and really, very much like doing hair.  But something takes over in that moment when I shave the top off of a cake.  Caramelized sugar, butter, flour and eggs combine in some otherworldly taste adventure.  No one is around (as I have usually kicked everyone out of my kitchen), and I gingerly pick up the strips that have just fallen at the swipe of my knife.  I place one in my mouth and chew, eyes instantaneously rolling into the back of my head. Cake shavings are ever so delicate, with the slightest crunch- they are the treat for the cake-baker.  As someone who is obsessed with being thin, I tell myself that it is important to try the cake I have just baked, in the case that I have forgotten something important.  Perhaps I need to try it with some of the frosting?

Perhaps this cake isn't even at all.  Where is my level?

Cake shavings.  Yum.

I made two of these cakes this week, as really- I think they are the best cakes I have ever made.

This is a (big breath) Strawberry-Filled White Butter Cake with a Graham Cracker Crust and Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting.

Two, big, thick layers of vanilla-scented white cake with a graham cracker crust baked right into it, filled with macerated strawberries and lemony cream cheese frosting.  I topped it with more berries and graham cracker crumbs, and it was perhaps...

the best cake I have ever tasted.

I made it for my husbands work meeting, and I was lucky enough to have a slice or two left over.

Absolute heaven.  Really.

Oh dear.  I made a smaller one yesterday for my friend, Robin.  I packed hers with a bit more lemon, and she adored it.

A recipe?  Of course...

Strawberry-Filled White Butter Cake, w/a Graham Cracker Crust and Lemony Cream Cheese Frosting

Graham Cracker Crust


1.25 cups of graham crackers
.25 c sugar
1 stick salted butter, melted


Mix the 3 ingredients together.  Place parchment paper on the bottom of two 8" or 9" pans.  Divide the crumb mixture between the two pans, and press until firm and all stuck together.  Set to the side.


White Butter Cake (adapted slightly from Joy of Baking)

Heat oven to 350.

Separate 4 eggs (it is easier to do when they are cold).  Let them come to room temperature.

Cream together...


2 sticks softened butter
1.5 cups sugar


...until light and fluffy.  About 5-7 minutes, scraping down the bowl a few times.  In the mean time, sift together...

3.5 c cake flour

4 t baking powder
.25 t kosher salt


To your butter mixture, add your egg yolks, one at a time until they are incorporated well.  Stir in...

2 t vanilla extract
1 t almond extract


If using a stand mixer, remove the paddle attachment, and put on the whisk attachment.  Remove the butter concoction, and set to the side.  Pull out a second bowl (you do have two, right?), and put in the room temperature egg whites.  Whisk on high until foamy, and then sprinkle on...

.5 t cream of tartar


Continue to whisk until you have soft peaks, and then gradually sprinkle in...

.5 c sugar


Whisk until you have very stiff peaks.  Pull off your bowl and whisk, and put back on your butter mixture and paddle attachment.  Alternating with...

1 cup whole milk


...add your dry ingredients, BEGINNING and ENDING with the dry.  Scrape down the bowl between additions.  Fold in a third of the egg whites to the mixture, to lighten it.  Fold in the remaining egg whites, fully incorporating them, but don't over-mix.

Divide into your prepared pans.  You will have about 2 cupcakes' worth of batter left over.  Toss it.  Or forget about salmonella, and try some.  Delicious.  I mean, disgusting.

How could you??

Bake for @ 30 minutes, probably a bit more.  Touch the side of the pans barely (very gently), and if it doesn't jiggle, pull it out to check with a tooth pick.  If it's clean, let the pans cool on a rack for 10 minutes.  Take a paring knife and run it along the inside of the pans.  Turn out the cakes.  You will lose some graham crackers, but it will be OK.  I promise.  Let cool completely before frosting.

Lemony Cream Cheese Frosting

.5 package cream cheese, softened
2 sticks butter, softened  
1 pound confectioner's sugar (sifted)
1 t vanilla
zest of 1 lemon
1 T lemon juice (about 1/2 lemon's juice)


Cream together the butter and cream cheese until smooth.  Add the sifted powdered sugar and zest, and blend until smooth.  Stir in the extract and juice, just until combined.

Chop up approximately 1 cup of strawberries, and add to that about 1 T lemon juice and 1 T sugar.  


To assemble the cake, place the first layer on a plate.  Frost with a thick layer of frosting, leaving a well in the center.  Place .5 strawberry mixture into the well.  Top with the second cake layer.  Frost the cake completely, and just before serving, put the remaining strawberries on top.  Coat the outside of the cake in graham cracker crumbs for texture and aesthetics.

Eat.  Cry.  Repeat.

And I am told by an old friend, that if you shave a cake very carefully, you will leave behind all of the calories.

Have a beauty of a day!

Rachel Bee

Oh, my.

I have my third cake in 24 hours out on the cooling rack.

And I only messed up one of them.  Those are pretty good stats for me.  I have three more to make by Sunday evening (which by extension means "four").

What cakes am I making?  I am so glad you asked.

1.  Strawberry-filled White Butter Cake with Lemony Cream Cheese Frosting x 2
2.  Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake.  A favorite.
3.  Double Chocolate Cake
4.  Raspberry White and Dark Chocolate Ganache-filled Cake

We'll get to posting some of these very soon.  I can't wait to share the recipes with you all!

Which gets me thinking that I become a little fired up when people don't share their recipes.  What?  Do you think you are special or something?  Geez...

I also thought that you guys might want to see pictures of my Truffle Cake.  Remember these?

Well, I blogged about them here, where you can find links to the recipe and other fun things.  But with the other half of that batter, I made a cake.  This one...

Those rude little lumps of chocolate are Earth Fare brand truffles, and if you haven't tried them; they are amazing!  There have been two opportunities in the last 6 months to grab a free box, but they are relatively inexpensive and fully worth every penny.

I like them on cakes.

Oh dear.  That was a cute cake.  And need I mention "delicious?"

Chocolate cake filled with chocolate frosting, and coated in pink Swiss Meringue Buttercream.  If you have never made Swiss Meringue Buttercream, I am sending out a mandate to all who read my blog: you must.

Alright.  Be inspired.  Get some sleep.  Have a beautiful day!

Rachel Bee