Another potluckortunity...

As some of you know, I sing, and have been doing as much since...forever really.  I have sung with some brilliant ensembles, but none so brilliant as the folks I sing with now.

Really.  During worship yesterday, we had 4 separate people leading songs, and all were wonderful.  Each was technically exquisite, and yet nearly invisible in self-awareness.  I sat for well over a year listening before I felt I could meet even their lowest standards.  I enjoy standing with these guys, and in their company I have GROWN.

I could spend hours counting the many ways I "love my church," and maybe someday I will.

All of this to say that last night we had a little gastronomic gathering, and I decided to bring a cake.

OK.  Not just a cake- an obnoxious Oreo Cake.  Lemme tell you all a little something about this cake: well...alright.  When an invitation declares that "women" are meant to bring a "dessert," my first thought is "yes!  time for cake!"  At the same time, while others are bringing unpretentious cobblers and puddings- the feeling I get when I walk into a room with something as loud as this...

...the feeling is not, "OK.  here is my dessert.  Job well done."  It is more like when I walked into junior prom wearing what looked like a wedding dress when everyone else wore short little whatevers, and being used the following Monday in a sentence that "Heather" constructed with one of our new vocabulary words: "ostentatious."

"Rachel's dress was very ostentatious at the prom."

Really, Heather?  Really?  You bought your dress at the same store.  And while we're at it, yes, my Birkenstocks were real.  You could have asked instead of throwing a pencil into the middle of the room and then asking me to pick it up.  I would have made you a rubbing of the logo.

And Salem- you charge $10,000 a year for school and I get teased for wearing a nice dress to the prom?  Geez.

Oh- wait.  Where was I?

Cake.  I labored over whether or not to bring one- but unlike some of the chicks whom I went to school with, I really think these kids like me as much as I like them.  And I think there may have been tears, or even a fire started by a small riot at the sight of my hands bearing sugar cookies.  I could hear their voices, faintly in my future:

"WE WANT CAKE! WE WANT CAKE!"

I couldn't disappoint.  I then conceived the most gaudy and sumptuous cake I could imagine: A two-layer chocolate cake, each resting on an oreo crumb crust.  In the center is thick smear of Oreo cream cheese frosting, and milky chocolate fudge and cookie crumbs bring the thing together.  It is my husband's favorite, as he says that every bite holds something a little different: a combination of textures your tongue hasn't discerned before.

Num num.

I will post a recipe soon- I am finishing up a website this week, and some other very exciting things that I cannot really talk about right now.

And I want to say quickly that I love cobblers, cookies, brownies, parfaits, mock cheese cake, animal crackers, and whatever else was there last night.  Please, no one be offended by my very tongue and cheek commentary on the importance of cake-baking.

Have a beautiful day.

Rachel Bee

A recipe...

A few days ago I posted a recipe for Sweet Potato Lamingtons with Maple Goat Cheese Frosting.  You remember; these...

They were delicious, but as I mentioned before: they are tedious.  Annoying, even.

Beasts, if you will.

Here is the recipe, but I believe you might need a tutorial on how to construct these bad boys.

Sweet Potato Cake

1 stick of unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 c + 2 tbsp. white sugar
1/2 c + 2 tbsp. brown sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 cup sweet potato puree (contents of about 1 roasted sweet potato)
1 t vanilla extract
2 cups cake flour
1/4 baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t ground ginger
pinch of ground cloves
1/2 c buttermilk, room temperature

Preheat oven to 350.  Prepare a 13x9 pan by putting down parchment paper in the bottom of the pan.  Make sure you let some hang over the sides as you will need to use it as handles to pull the cake out later.

Cream together the sugars and butter for 5-7 minutes, until fluffy.  Add eggs, one at a time, mixing until completely incorporated.  Stir in puree and vanilla extract.


In a separate bowl, sift together the dry ingredients.  Beginning and ending with the flour mixture, add to  sweet potato mixture alternating with the buttermilk in 3 additions.  Scrape down the bowl after each addition.  Pour into the prepared pan, and bake for @ 25 minutes, but check at 20.  


When cake is done, let cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then use a knife to scrape away any cake baked into the edges of the pan, and pull the entire cake out of the pan by its "handles."  Let cool completely on a wire rack.

When the cake is cool, take a look at it.  See how the edges slope down slightly?  Take a serrated knife and gently cut off those edges.  I believe I had to cut about an inch to an inch and a half off of each side.

For your remaining slap: if the long side of the cake is directly in front of you, using a ruler, measure 4 equal pieces, at around 2.5 inches wide.  Cut, gently.  Cutting the other way, you will only be able to cut 2 rows equal to 2.5".  Cut.

Now you should have 8 equal squares.  Wrap them up, and throw them in the freezer for at least an hour.

Frosting:  Take a square and set in front of you.  Take a few tablespoons of frosting and spread evenly on top.  Place a second square of cake on the top.  Check to see that the cakes are perfectly flush together.  If they are not, cut down the sides of cake until they are.  Don't get too crazy here, as you are looking or uniform little cubes.  Then, taking some frosting onto a small, offset spatula, run DOWN the sides of the cake, spreading a thin "crumb coat" down the sides of the cake, until all sides are covered.  Scrape the sides of your spatula off between applications, as the...well, just do it.

Place completed square in the freezer to set, and repeat with other cakes.

Pulling one cake out at a time, frost thinly again, careful to keep uniformity, but knowing that they are to be covered with the topping of your choice (don't be too anal).  Coat with toasted pecans, or whatever strikes your fancy (white chocolate is good as well).

Tadah.  Take a picture, show a friend- knock on a neighbor's door- you worked really hard on these.

Eat.

Maple Goat Cheese Frosting

1 stick of unsalted butter, room temperature
1 package goat cheese, room temperature
2.5 cups powdered sugar, SIFTED
2-3 tablespoons whole milk
1 t vanilla
1 t all natural maple flavoring

Beat the goat cheese until slightly smooth.  Add butter, and blend together until no longer lumpy (this can take a minute).  Add the powdered sugar and stir until incorporated.  Add milk, a tablespoon at a time, until you achieve a spreadable consistency.  Stir in extracts.  Makes enough frosting to coat and fill a 6" cake, or 4 lamingtons.

And there you have it.  See why a tutorial is in order?  See why you dip or pour frosting over traditional lamingtons?

Yikes.  Off to make some cookies.  I have an exciting cake to make this weekend (yes, it involves said "cookies").

Wiggling in my seat over the potential of this cake.  A delicious, textural explosion.

Have an extra beautiful day.

Rachel Bee

Hair- Embarrassing rants and raves...

Those who know me intimately, know that I was quite bothered two days ago over a coupon that came out with our local paper.  

Quite bothered.  As in crying, and slamming my fists against our office desk.  I was en route to the door with my little one, and thought I would check my facebook page before I left.  When I did, I discovered that one of my faithful clients posted a coupon to my salon, offering services at a dastardly discounted rate. I mean, a $15 haircut.  $35 for all over color.  $50 for a full head of highlights!  I read the coupon extensively, scouring it's words for a sentence of relief...

"Participating stylists only."

"Valid for first-time guests only."  

"If you use this ridiculous coupon, please come bearing gifts."

But there was nothing, and as I knew nothing about it previous to this moment, I frantically exploded.  I have since erased my rather passionate rant, but I was very upset.  Why would I get upset over a discount opportunity offered for only 24 hours?  Hmm...

I am not going to bore you with the details (just spent 20 minutes writing the details out, and they were b-o-r-i-n-g), but I have worked very hard in the last few years to build my book in a certain way.  I have tried deep-discounting, but it (in my experience) has produced clientele who either need or are brazen enough to continually ask for deep discounts.  When a person is a hairstylist, she gets to spend 1-4 hours with a single human being.  There is a lot of talking.  There is a lot of sharing.  Sometimes there are tears.  But at the end of a session, no matter how good the color looks, if the client/stylist rapport is not positive, she is NOT coming back.  There have been times when I have wanted to take my shears and jab them into my throat, or being so overwhelmed with annoyance or pure disgust over a conversation (the amount of bigotry and hatred that still exists in this city is abhorrent) that I tear up, or even once nearly passed out.  

Generally speaking, I really like EVERYONE on my book right now, and as they consistently trust me enough to give me money to help their "crowning glory," I think they like me, too.  My book, therefore expands slowly by people who like me introducing people who they like to, well- me- and by reason, we all like each other.  Sometimes it doesn't work out, but most of the times it does, and I am grateful.  Continuing with reason, as I do not receive walk-ins, the only people who can use this amazing coupon for my services are people who are already OK with paying my real prices.  

So I was upset.  

And my salon-owner found out.  And in her uprightness and precious-ness, she was sorry.  And I was sorry, for being frantic and worried and frantic (I know I said that already).  And the strangest thing happened.  

We talked about it.  We did not cry, we did not raise our voices, we didn't hug or hold hands- just two women having a conversation for the purpose of mending a relationship.  We forgave each other.  It was novel, and mature- which is very hard to find in this field.  I like her.  

So, if you purchased this coupon, please use it.  Do not feel bad.  But do come bearing gifts.  I really love coconut, or especially lemon cake.  

If you have come to the end of this, thanks for indulging me.  

Rachel Bee

A sweet potato, a decade, and a dream...

I have very few friends.  I think I might be stinky, as in a room of nearly 20 women this morning, the only two vacant seats sandwiched little old me.

What to say next...

I pause as many of the women in that room read my blog, and I don't want any of them to feel sorry.  I really wasn't bothered.  Really.  In fact, I chose to sit on the other, more vacant side of the room when I walked in.  It was just kind of funny it worked out that way, and kind of...typical.

I begin this way, as one of my friendliest and oldest friends dreamed about me the other night, and decided to tell me about it.  She lives in California.  I met her 10 years ago, almost to the day.  Our paths converged on the other side of the world when we were paired as roommates in college.  The two of us barreled through some of the most dreadful and yet majestic moments of my life.  We were young, emotional, and broke; lorded over by two very demanding bellies and subsequent tender self esteems.  Sometimes we were good for each other, and other times we were oh, so bad.  But we had fun, and I would like to say that other people enjoyed our stereotypical American silliness.  I miss her.  And although we have mustered some self control in our agedness, I wonder how long it would take us to gain 20 pounds, if together again.

Especially if she has dreams like this...

She dreamed that I brought her sweet potato cupcakes with maple pecan cream cheese frosting, and this made me think.  I was going to do a post on Lamingtons, as this month marks 10 years after I first discovered this delicate confection.  Lamingtons are typically a white cake square, dipped in a thin chocolate frosting and covered in desiccated coconut.  They are beautiful, and my friend and I ate many of them.  All things considered, I decided to make Sweet Potato Lamingtons, coated in Maple Goat Cheese Frosting and toasted pecans.  See for yourself:

Ok.  truth be told, I made one covered in pecans.  Here are the other two:

The one on the left is coated in white chocolate, and the other is desiccated coconut.*

I am not really a "foodie," and I don't claim to be.  I am knowledgeable, but I have a very rudimentary palette.  Goat cheese frosting is a little different for me, but I didn't have any cream cheese; and I found this cheese very close to it's expiration date, under some flour tortillas and grapes.  The texture of the frosting is supremely smooth and creamy, and not as thin as cream cheese frosting.  It is, however, relatively tart and fruity.  The maple extract really worked to mellow the flavors, making it more palatable.  I enjoyed the overall product, but a Lamington is a lot of work.  That is why there are only three of them.

And it was after midnight.

And my husband fell asleep watching a certain movie, and I was too focused to stop and turn off the dvd intro, looping every 45 seconds or so.

"We need more wax!"  Frost, frost... "We need more wax!"  Coat, coat... "We need more wax!"

You get the picture.

It was a blast, however; and it made me remember.

Love you more than marshmallows, marching bands and cookie-making.

Rachel Bee

*The desiccated coconut is just for looks in this case.  Not a recommended dusting in this recipe.  Oh- recipe is here.   I am going to cuddle a toddler.

All things girly.

There are certain things I always want to say about myself:

1.  I am laid back.
     I am certainly not laid back.  If I have ever told anyone this, it was most definitely a boy, as I feel it makes a girl much less intimidating.  What girl says in response to the "tell me about yourself" question: "Well, I am as uptight as they come."  Not ever this girl, I can tell you that.  But the truth is out, I fear, and it is that I, Rachel Bee, am as uptight as they come.  There.  I said it.  I digress.

2.  I love being pale.
     I don't.  I want to be brown.  Very brown.  Like California dreaming Barbie brown, with long flaxen hair and a fuschia bathing suit.  I love to lie out in the sun- for us Southern girls it is right up there with pecans, Ronald Reagan and blonde hair.

3.  I am sweet.
     When people describe me or the gentleman who lives with me as "sweet," it is a fact: she doesn't know me very well.  It starts with my voice- a girl who has a speaking voice like mine can't possibly be sweet.  She can be nice, but sweet?  No.  The alto is always the villain.  I want to be perky and smily and sweet- but again, I must confess: if you see me out and I have a smile on my face, I am probably laughing.  I am probably laughing at you.

*I kid*

4.  I am cool.
     Really, I look cool.  I do.  I know this.  I am interested in cool things and I wear cool clothes and cook trendy meals- but this girl spent way too much time alone in her room as a kid.  I am tragically nerdy.

5.  I grew up a tomboy.
     I am a girl.  The girliest of girls.  My swimsuit coverup as a kid was the apron I wore with my Easter dress.  I played with Barbies and forced my brothers into playing with them as well.  My favorite movies are dancing movies, my favorite colors are pink and purple, and I love Jane Austen.  I adore wearing dresses and skirts, curling my hair and playing in makeup. I recently told someone that if I had an actual day off- I mean, a real day when I had no access to hobbies or cleaning- I would spend an hour doing my hair, another doing my makeup, pull out all of my clothes and do a fashion show in my room (see again #4).  
      For whatever reason, the idea of growing up all dirty and masculine and then blooming into this surprising, beautiful woman seems completely romantic to me.  Don't get me wrong- I have attempted androgeny (see high school senior year), but my well-developed (ahem) femininity was all too apparent, no matter how short I cut my hair.  So, I have indulged: I have invested my chocolate-swooning, lace-loving, bug-hating self into nearly everything I do.  I do hair and makeup for a living, because if I wasn't doing yours for money, I would be doing my own for fun.  I dust cakes in pearly powder and pipe flowers and hearts as I feel somehow it will make your day.  I knit ruffled snoods and dot them with silk and netting for that extra-special, extra whimsical je ne sais quoi...

Well, see for yourself....

and another.

Obviously, it is backwards here.  I was hoping my husband was not trying to get my hair in the frame, as  this is my signature "second day" hairstyle, and most days it is a big, knotty mess.  But here...today...not so bad.  Maybe I should give a tutorial on this 2-minute "do."  You can do it.  Believe me.

As for the snood, I had an idea for this in my head- and it started by casting on as many stitches to my needles that I possibly could, which in this case is 120 (on a size 13).  I knitted for a few rows in stockinette stitch- maybe an inch and a half's worth, and then maybe at around row 5 I knit 4, K2tog, and repeated to the end of the row.  I knit a few more, and then gradually worked down to a size (knitting stitches together as needed) that would just fit over my head.  I continued in a rib stitch until I was satisfied with the length.  I sewed the two ends together, folded it over, and then sewed the part that rolls down, down.  Toss something pretty on there, do some quick embroidery, and call it a summation of today's title: girly.

I recognize that the "pattern" I pretended to give you up there was pretty pathetic, and in the future I vow to write down my patterns as I make them.  Really.

6.  I always keep my word.
     Eesh.

Have a beautiful day.

Rachel Bee

A Perfect Storm...

It is nearly 10:30, EST, and I am up with a cup of coffee (French-pressed, no less), and a cake I just pulled from the oven.  Little man is awake in bed, of course, and I am just dreaming (and not in the way I should be at 10:30 PM).  I dub this not a bad time to unwind and talk about my dad's birthday cake.  I dub 10:30 EST not a bad time to talk about this...

My dad is a very special man, and he deserves a very special cake.  My very special mother gave me a "Southern Living" cookbook a few Christmases ago, and this cake has spent many evenings taunting me from the front page of the dessert chapter.

Taunting?  Yes.  Yes because it contains nearly every delicacy that causes me to swoon, and yet my husband despises:  coconut, pecans, cream cheese, custard...wait...

"Dear, do you like custard?"

No answer...probably asleep.

We'll say that he doesn't like it.  Especially because it is caramel custard.  How can I make something so abhorrent to him, especially when I make a perfectly fine chocolate cake?  Lets pause to see another picture...

Because it's a Saturday, because I am wearing my lucky socks, because it's Dad's birthday- wait...

"Dad, do you like custard?"

No answer.  I am sure he does.  Especially because it is caramel custard.

Oh well, my Darling P, the next one is yours: chocolate, Oreo, peanut butter, brownie-layered; whatever you want.

In conclusion, I- I mean, Dad got this: a perfect textural storm of moist butter pecan cake, sandwiching layers of gooey caramel custard, and dressed in tart cream cheese frosting.  I toasted shaved coconut and mammoth Georgia pecans (thanks, Shannon), and left not a surface lacking in Dixie decadence.  The Southern Living Cookbook calls it "Caramel Cream Cake," but I call it "heavenly."  It was perfect, and if you can gather the free counter space, a few hours, and all of the ingredients, it is so very worth it.

Caramel Cream Cake (adapted from Southern Living)

For prep (can be done days before)

Chop one cup of pecans very, very finely (some of these are going into your cake; you don't want them to sink).  Spread evenly onto a baking sheet, and place in an oven, preheated to 350.  Toast for 5-7 minutes (keep an eye on these babies).

Spread 1/4-1/2 cup shaved or shredded coconut onto a baking sheet.  Place in preheated oven (350), and toast for 5 minutes (if you start to smell it sooner, check!)

Make Caramel Custard, recipe below

Pecan Butter Cake

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups sugar
5 large eggs, separated
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
1 t soda
1/2 t Kosher salt
1/2 cup finely chopped coconut
1 cup buttermilk
2/3 cup finely chopped pecans

Prepare 3 8" or 9" pans by placing a circle of parchment paper on the bottom.  I never butter or flour; it is a waste of time.  Make sure your parchment paper rounds are flush to the pans, or you might have some seepage.  

Beat butter for 2-3 minutes until fluffy.  Add sugar and beat for 5-7 minutes until extra fluffy, scraping the bowl occasionally.  Add egg yolks, one at a time, until fully incorporated.  Stir in vanilla. 

Add all of the dry ingredients, plus the coconut (I used organic desiccated coconut for this, as it is so dry and very fine) together in a separate bowl, blending thoroughly.  Now, add your dry ingredients to the butter mixture, alternating with the buttermilk, BEGINNING and ENDING with the dry ingredients (in 3 or so additions).  Scrape down the bowl occasionally, and do not beat too hard.  Fold in the pecans.  

In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form.  Fold a third of the whites into the batter, to lighten it, and then continue with the rest, gently until incorporated.  

Divide into the three pans (I used two and threw some batter away.  I cried).  Weigh these pans to make sure they are even.  Throw pans into an oven preheated to 350. Bake 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  Place on a baking rack and let cool for 10 minutes.  Take a small, sharp knife and run it along the inside of the pan, loosening it from the sides of the cake.  Turn cake out of pans, and let cool completely.  

Caramel Custard

1/2 cup dark brown sugar

2/3 cup corn syrup

1/3 cup cornstarch

4 egg yolks

1 1/2 cups half-and-half

pinch of salt 

1 t vanilla

Whisk together first 6 ingredients in a heavy sauce pan until smooth.  Bring to a boil over medium heat, and then boil 1 minute until thickened.  Whisk in butter, and once mixed, pour through a mesh strainer.  Trust me on this.  Place plastic over surface of custard, and cool for at least 4 hours.  Stir in vanilla.  

To assemble:

I usually wrap up my cakes after they cool and place them in the freezer for at least a couple of hours.  It helps to hold the cakes together, and they are easier to frost.  If you do this and you are using only 2 pans and want to cut the layers in half, do it BEFORE they go in the freezer.  Look closely at my layers.  I forgot that step.  Wonk.  Wonk.  Divide the filling between the layers, leaving a small space around the edge, so that it doesn't bleed into your frosting.  Frost your assembled cake, and coat thoroughly with toasted goodness.  

Don't bake and give this cake away.  Make sure you are able to snag a piece.  You have earned it.  

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 8 oz package (full fat) cream cheese, softened

1 stick of butter, softened

1 pound confectioners sugar

1 t vanilla extract

Cream together butter and cream cheese.  Add Confectioners sugar and blend until just mixed.  Stir in vanilla extract.  

Oh my goodness.  It is now nearly midnight.  The little one just quieted, and I am off to bed (caffeine, you have no power over me).  

Have a beautiful day.  

Rachel Bee

A cake for Little Miss Thang...

I have a client who's hair I do nearly every 8 weeks, and she is precious to me.  I want to call her; I want to invite her out to coffee; I want to sit and glean from her deep well of knowledge and wisdom.  All I know is that when she is in my chair, she speaks and all sorts of- well, it is similar to this...

She speaks, and I see- in ways that I have never seen before.  I did her hair last week, and she beautifully affirmed a concept or philosophy I had hidden in my innards (ha.  "innards").  

Gibberish.  Gibberish.  Gibberish.  Right?

I will do my very best to post every recipe I show here, with the goal being that I want to inspire all of you to be creative and get in the kitchen.  I do realize, however, that some of you (locally) would simply rather not bother, and like for others to do the baking for you.  So, I will.  

$35 for a 9" round 

$20 for a 6" round

$1.50 per unfilled cupcake

$1.75 per filled cupcake

The prices will stick around until I am overwhelmed, and then they will go up.  Call, email, Facebook, comment here, hire a sky-writer, whatever.  

I need two days notice.  At least.

So, this is one such cake, commissioned for my little friend's birthday.  She wanted a chocolate cake, and for the life of me, I could not figure out how to make a chocolate cake look cute enough for a seven year old, save (gulp) a piping bag and (double gulp) fondant.  I have played with a piping bag before, but writing?  My handwriting is reminiscent of serial killers rather than little girls, and with a two year old at my feet giving the occasional bump- my results were less than stellar.  

Much less.  My swirls were great, dots were good, but words?  Well, see for yourself.  

Lumpy, bumpy...eesh.  But overall, a pretty gorgeous cake.  

And yes, that is a Campbell's chicken noodle soup can.  There are actually three of them under there.  I tried to move the cake to a proper stand for the picture, but given my history, I thought it was better photo'd here.  

I will give you all a little tutorial for those fondant flowers.  Not too bad for my first go!

A recipe or two?  Enjoy!

Beatty's Chocolate Cake

I have used her frosting recipe, but it sort of tastes like straight up butter to me.  So I use this one...

Chocolate Fudge Frosting

8 oz. of semi sweet chocolate (I recommend 60% cocoa.  Anything darker is too grown up for a kid's cake)

1 stick of unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1/4 cup cocoa

3/4 cup whole milk

pinch of salt

3 cups powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

Finely chop the chocolate, and add it along with the following 4 ingredients to a heatproof bowl, and place over a pot of simmering water.  Stir until melted and smooth, and remove from water.  After SIFTING the powdered sugar (you will regret not sifting), incorporate it into the chocolate mixture.  Let it sit on the counter for 15 minutes, and then stir in the vanilla (never stir vanilla into a hot mixture).  Place it into the fridge until it firms, or if you are in a hurry, put it in the freezer for 10-15 minutes.  

Note: this frosting can be very, very, very thick.  A metal spatula or knife and some hot water is a must for spreading this stuff.  Or else, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.  

Trust me.

Alright, friends.  Have a beautiful day!

Rachel Bee